Morning Tears

We come to China to make new lives. Some of us come to make our fortunes. Almost no one comes to make a difference. But Koen Sevenants belongs to that rare minority, experiencing reward and charity, hope and heartbreak from day to day.

Over six hundred thousand children in China have one or both parents in prison, often mothers serving long sentences for killing abusive husbands. Many more parents are executed for crimes such as drug trafficking. In either case, the children are left behind in a limbo of despair. Their parents’ criminal status deprives them of state care. The stigma scares off relatives and villagers who might otherwise intervene, because by ancient tradition children of the unfortunate themselves attract bad luck.

In a world where tragedy lurks in every dark corner, we numb ourselves to such news, just to stay sane. Koen sees the faces though, not the statistics. He knows the pretty, haunted face of Xiao Yang, whose father abused her and killed her mother. Her benefactor since she came to his Children’s Village in 2005, he has seen her scars heal, seen her laugh and play again. New problems sprout as often as new hope. Xiao Ge, whose parents were both executed, has also learned to smile and play. But in a few months she’ll be completely blind, and with no papers, no school will help her.

These are the stories behind the statistics, the stories of Morning Tears, an organization that Koen has nurtured from scattered outreach to registered NGO, one of a handful in China that can issue invoices, making donations tax deductible. Ten years ago, he stumbled upon a relief mission initiated by four judges, one rapidly running out of money. “They set up three centers in Xi’an and gave an initial financial impulse,” Koen says. “But after a couple of years, there was no money left. The last center was closing when by chance we discovered it, and since then we’ve put our efforts into it.” Koen’s “we” refers to his Chinese friends who have helped him in the million and one tasks involved in saving forgotten lives, from fundraising to psychological aid.

Once officially oblivious to the plight of convicts’ children, the Chinese government is now actually cooperating with Morning Tears, and consulting Koen for child protection laws and procedures. Anyone who has strived to accomplish anything at an official level in China knows the huge credit this cooperation does Koen: not just as a humanitarian, but also as an organization-builder.

Koen Sevenants with some of his children

Only the tried and true may effect change at this level, but just how tried they are, we for-profit types seldom appreciate. “It was so emotionally taxing, so exhausting,” Koen recalls. “In 2002 we raised enough money for three more years and decided to delegate the Children’s Village. But three weeks later, we were back. We knew this was our life.”

It’s a life with enough challenges and out-of-the-box thinking to keep ten Jack Welches busy. On every symbolic date, such as May 1st, another group of convicts are executed. Official contacts in the prisons lead some children to Koen. Other times, it is a police officer taking a personal interest. Morning Tears finds a relative or friend of the family for half of the children brought in, yet Koen is loath to let simple blood ties settle the matter. “If we have to ask more than two times, they’ll say yes. But then they’ll treat the child harshly, and more often than not the child will be back in our care after three months,” Koen reveals. Indeed, he cites the ingrained prejudice against convicts’ kids as Morning Tears’ chief obstacle, even more so than the kids’ lack of papers, their malnutrition and often their diseases, such as hepatitis and TB.

Care at a Children’s Village means more than food, accommodation, and a chance to go to school. Morning Tears commits to taking its kids on the painful journey from trauma and disassociation to healing and re-integration. Koen trains other caregivers in the elements of treating not just malnourished, neglected bodies, but also deep psychological wounds. Play therapy and excursions are the nice side of it, but the process is usually more painful, for all involved. Imagine if you can taking a child to visit her jailed mother, a visit negotiated from ten minutes behind glass to half an hour of hugging and sobbing. Even more trying are the farewell parties arranged pre-execution, the last time a child sees her parent alive.

Koen’s therapeutic convictions are heuristically arrived at – there’s no playbook for the work he does. “The children must learn to acknowledge what has happened to them, even in the brutal terms used by the person in the street. Only then will they have the coping skills to adapt to society outside these walls. It’s very hard to draw children into this process. Most of the kids arrive in a disassociative state, so they seem better after a few weeks. The crying, the rage may take a long time to come, but come it must if they are going to truly get better.” His courageous approach to healing also incorporates traditional Chinese medicine; tui na, for instance, has been instrumental in helping re-establish a healthy mind-body balance, evident in its effectiveness against psychosomatic disorders such as bedwetting.

Koen realizes the value of help from someone who’s been there, and depends on his older, more centered children to mentor new arrivals. When a child first comes to the Children’s Village, she walks through a welcoming line of all the residents. Brought to the dining hall, she shares in a celebratory meal while older kids stand and tell their stories.

These stories are alike in beginning sadly, but many point to a truly bright future. One young woman was so astute in her studies that Morning Tears felt compelled to raise extra money to send her to a quality high school. There she successfully prepared for and passed her college entrance exams, a rare feat in an area where only a quarter of rural youths even make it to secondary education. She is now studying nursing; another young woman is studying economics.

Morning Tears’ story is a familiar one for non-profits: the need for additional funding, the money to send a young nursing student on to study child psychology, to help a blind girl acquire citizen papers and attend a special needs school, to build new centers where they’re desperately needed. To date, Morning Tears has project sites in Xi’an,Zhengzhou, Chengdu, and Sanyuan. The organization even has plans to expand into South America and the United States. Apolitical and secular, Morning Tears runs and thrives on the premise that the least among us are the most deserving of our care.

From China Expat To visit the Morning Tears website click here.